Church Dropouts

The parable of the sower prepares us for the sad reality that not all Christians will remain faithful. It’s heart-rending but we shouldn’t be surprised when some believers drop out along the way. Jesus said some seed planted in shallow soil would spring up quickly, “But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.” (Matthew 13:5-6)

When church members fade away, Christian friends are disappointed and often blame themselves. Like a rejected lover who struggles with self-esteem the church asks, “What’s wrong with us that so many come in the front door and leave out the back door?”

It’s awkward when we see formerly active members at a community function and we don’t know what to say. “Miss seeing you at church!” is about all we can muster. We go home and wonder again, “What happened to them? Why aren’t they attending worship services anymore?”

Jesus explained it like this, “The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the Word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.” (Matthew 13:20-21)

Some people drop out because they can’t take the heat that comes from believing in the basics of God’s Word. They wilt when friends ridicule them or their job is in jeopardy because of their religious beliefs, and they look for an excuse to quit. Others get so caught up in the pursuit of worldly success and pleasure that they don’t have time for the church anymore. They’re too busy traveling and conducting business affairs.

When church elders or friends muster up enough courage to confront, the defectors never say, “To be honest, I’m a shallow person and I couldn’t take being labeled controversial.” They never confess, “I’m so consumed with making money right now that I’ve got my priorities out of whack.”

No, you'll never hear real truth from dropouts as to why they are leaving the church. Almost always, they blame the church for their backslidden condition. The preacher offended them or wasn't there for them. The church just wasn’t meeting their needs. The music wasn’t what they preferred. They weren’t being fed or their children just weren't plugging in. As a result the church becomes the target of unjust criticism and some members conclude, “The preacher has to quit alienating people.” “The elders need to develop a better shepherding program.” “We need to change our worship style to meet this group or that group's needs.”

I was recently at a church leadership conference and the speaker talked about how they hate it when people leave a church and all they can say is that they “weren't being fed there” or “their needs weren't being met”. That is a consumer mentality that is killing churches and ministries. Maybe these people need to put down the spoon and put on an apron. Instead of consuming only (which is immaturity) they should serve (which shows maturity).

While the church shepherds need to make every effort to feed their sheep and rescue the strays, we would do well to remember that not even Jesus managed to keep every sheep in the fold. “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.” (John 6:66) Even one of his closest disciples, Judas Iscariot, got entangled and overcome by the world. It wasn’t Jesus’ fault and He predicted that in the last days, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,” (Matt 24:12)

Bottom line? The church needs to do it’s best to disciple and deepen every believer. There's the great indictment against today's church. We may be good at winning souls, but aren't we good at discipling them and growing them deep so they'll mature and stay in the faith. However, church leaders need to also be realistic. No matter how meaningful our worship services are or how effective our discipleship programs may be, we will never have 100% retention. So keep the big picture in mind. Our task is to sow the seed of the gospel and rejoice when some of it grows to maturity.