Dealing with Troublemakers

If you've been around almost any church long enough, it seems that they have their troublemakers. A thorn in the side of their leaders, a stumbling block to others, they squeak and squawk and cause trouble. How should we deal with these people biblically?

Be patient with them.
One of my favorite instructions about dealing with difficult people (and church members) is this principle from Paul:
“We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

Being patient with people is something that I really struggle with. Of course, even Christians are going to manifest problems sometimes. We can’t be in the business of seeking and saving sinners and then be startled by their sins! Many Christians are fainthearted, many are weak, and some are downright unruly.

The Scriptural principle above expects church leaders and mature Christians to have enough wisdom and experience to discern which people and situations require admonition, encouragement or help. No matter how we respond, we should do so in love, being “patient with everyone.”

If the situation does require your intervention or correction, do it with the hope of defusing the situation rather than making things worse. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov 15:1).

Confront them.
There are certainly times when the right thing to do is to confront. To fail to confront when the situation calls for it is to fail to do your job as a Christian. Sometimes honest confrontation is necessary not only to defend yourself and the ministry of the Gospel, but to protect the church. As the bride of Christ, the church is to remain pure and blameless, different from the world. Sometimes we must confront sin in the camp to remain as God intends so we can minister the Gospel with His blessing. Remember "...that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough..." (1 Cor. 5:6). Sometimes confrontation is a necessary step.

Many people dread confrontation. Too awkward. Too painful. Easier to ignore the problem and hope (and even pray) it goes away. However, often the problems we ignore tend to only get worse.

Jesus instructed that when a Christian brother sins (Mt 18:15-17) or has something against us (Mt 5:23-24) we should speak to that person privately, seeking to be reconciled. Such a loving confrontation may lead to a positive outcome. Maybe you will discover that you have been misinformed about what the brother said or did. Maybe you will learn the rest of the story. Maybe the brother will confess and ask for your forgiveness.

However, there is wisdom in picking your battles. There is a big difference between a thoughtless slight and a malicious attack. Are you able to let the little things go? If we confront every sin head-on, we will have time for little else.

Learn from them.
Is another church member criticizing you? Have you stopped to consider whether there is any truth to their complaint? Good Christians are good listeners. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..." (James 1:19)

Even ministers can respond so swiftly and defensively to a church member’s “attack” that he or she may fail to see that the criticism actually has merit. None of us are perfect -- not even me!

Psalm 139:22-24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts, and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Are you allowing God to speak to you through your circumstances and learn from them?

Pray for them.
Has a church member betrayed you? Turned against you?

On the evening of His arrest, Jesus knew that Peter was about to betray Him (Lk 24:31-34). How did Jesus respond? He prayed for Peter -- for his faith, for his repentance, and for his ministry. Jesus taught: “Bless those who curse you pray for those who mistreat you” (Lk 6:28).

When a problem erupted in the Jerusalem church, the apostles set a marvelous example of mature spiritual leadership. A church fuss arose over the distribution of food, which was a symptom of the underlying ethnic tension that existed between the Greek and Hebrew Christians (Acts 6).

Notice that the apostles did not jump right into the middle of the fuss. Rather, they told their members to work the problem out among themselves.

Didn’t the apostles care? As the leaders, shouldn’t they have responded? They did respond, in this way: “We will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the Word.” Surely at the top of their prayer list were requests for peace between the fussing believers and wisdom for the newly selected leaders.

Often the very best thing a brother or sister can do about a difficult person is to pray for them. If you resist your own strong reaction and place the difficult person in the Lord’s hands and wait upon the Lord, you may be surprised at the different ways God can deal with a problem. Remain faithful to God through it all. Perseverance is a call of every saint.